Thanks to all for all of the advice.
For some reason (either I'm too much of a nuub or it is never as easy as it should be) things did not go smoothly but in the end I did end up with 4.3.3 on my phone.
I followed all the directions, downloaded and installed tinyumbrella and saved my shsh files from cydia; check.
Launched tinyumbrella started TSS server and then launched iTunes and shift click restore, selected 4.3.3 file; check
Got error 1013 (or something) checked google and youtube, found correction, made correction, restarted.
Got error ?? (some other number) checked google and youtube, found correction, made correction, restarted.
Got new error (1), checked google and youtube, found correction, made correction, restarted.
In the end I used the redsn0w jailbreak tool to upgrade and jailbreak at the same time.
I did have to use tinyumbrella again to initiate and then stop recovery mode.
After that I was able to restore from backup in Itunes to restore all apps and music and such and then used apt backup from cydia to restore nearly all of my jailbreak tweeks.
I got very frustrated at times, but in the end all is well.
I won't be doing this again any time soon (at least until the 5.0.X unteathered jailbreak gets released)