are you using mac or windows?
Have you tried iphonebrowser (windows)? does it connect?
http://code.google.com/p/iphonebrowser/downloads/list
I may be new, but try this...
uninstall Openssh
uninstall Bossprefs
restart iphone (just do it)
Open cydia, go to manage packages. Look to make sure bossprefs and openSSH are not there. (your double checking to make sure it was removed)
open installer, go to categories, installed packages. Make sure bossprefs and openSSH is not listed there either. (your tripple checking to make sure it was removed)
reinstall Openssh (cydia)
reinstall Bossprefs (cydia)
Connect your iphone to your wireless network.
try to SSH into your iphone again...
Any luck?