Iphone 3G: The steady decent of the Apple company into hell.

[Skyfinity]

Reader beware, not all of this is to be taken seriously. It is just a goofy way to start a thread concearning the snags apple has caught in the 3G launch, and how they will recover. Its tounge in cheek, so don't say I'm insanely critical.

Ahh yes. The iPhone 3G. The highly esteemed Apple company has done it again, and better (apparently). As many iPhone owners have noticed, The 3G is like an answer to all the complaints about the original. The 3G has GPS, 3G connection, an Appstore, Calendar syncing, a more advanced calculator, and its sleek as an icicle. This was the dream that Jobs and his respectfully fearful minions brought into reality. In accordance with Apple tradition, The new iPhone is awesome, but also in accordance with Apple tradition, bumps in the road are often unforeseen, and devastating. The original iPods and Macbooks had really screwy batteries. Hardware, shiny as it is, is scratched, smudged, and dented. The list of Apples little shortcomings are immense, and they all stem from the same branch: Ascetics over function. But I am not writing this to rant on apple, but to analyze and hypothesize what the IPhone 3G launch is doing and will do to the Apple company. Scary.

The "Bumps" of the launch are quite a few, and all ready heated arguments are ensuing over the safety of Apple. It is no help that the company’s stock went down -4.05. Shareholders are surely going to be a tad disgruntled with this list.

Here are the bumps:

People don't go to the Apple store, they flock there. The lines at Apple stores across the earth contain hundreds of people itching to get the back of an iPhone all smudgy with fingerprints. The problem here is not cramming hundreds into those big glass boxes they call stores, but that the system they conjured up for giving the people working phones hasn’t worked. A Spokesman for AT&T told the press that a global malfunction in apples iTunes software is preventing iPhones to be fully activated in-store as planned, and users must go home to finish the process. This morning, both apple workers and customers were baffled why it took nearly a half an hour to activate a single iPhone, but soon, a memo must have been sent that said the activation continues at the user’s home. With the launch of the original iPhone, customers were meant to activate their iPhones at their homes, but apples effort to save the customer that trouble has led to angry lines clogging traffic. It’s all about the customer in the end, and they are angry.

Appstore was another huge leap for the iPhone 3G. For no longer did you have to feel like a criminal downloading apps on the go! And no longer could you let crappy apps slide. On iTunes, reviews for the Appstore-Available apps are very poor even Apps that were originally on Installer and were hits are having a hard time in the appstore. Why? Money. When the not-so-practical, fun little toy appeared for download on installer, it was still downloaded. When the same app is sold with a price tag, people are angry when they don’t think it meets their expectations. Take the famous Moo cow music Band. A few months ago, it was free for download on installer with 8 instruments available. If you pay the ten dollars today for the Appstore Version, you get 6 instruments. Say goodbye to Dance-Pad and Turn-Table. That is a mistake. Remember the Light App. Though there is a free version up for download in the Appstore, a similar app called “Quicklight” costs $0.99. It is rated one star. Money makes a difference, and if Apple is going to sell these apps, they better rethink prices.


The Apple iPhone 3G also has problems of its own, like a Yellow-tinted touch screen that makes everything look like barf. The original iPhone had its own screen issues, but if each iPhone 3G has this problem, it spells bad things for Apple, and says something about their quality control.

How about batteries, since we mentioned them before. Here are the official specs:

2G: eight hours of talk time, up to 250 hours of standby, six hours of internet use, seven hours of video playback, and up to 24 hours of audio playback.
3G: up to five hours of talk time using 3G, or 10 hours using 2G, standby is 300 hours, five hours of 3G internet use and six hours of Wi-Fi internet use, seven hours of video playback and up to 24 hours of audio playback.
Seems like that 3G network can really eat up your battery time!
Well, that’s it for now. Please post more “Bumps” and hypothesize on how the Apple Company is going to be after this Chaotic Launch.
Despite all that, I still want one.

Reader may want to check out Live iPhone 3G vs. iPhone Comparison Test Results Here | iLounge News where you can see a Side by side comparison of the Iphones. Check out that part about the smudges. Thats pretty disgusting.

Edit: Some beleive we are entering the ipocalypse.
iPocalypse Now | John Paczkowski | Digital Daily | AllThingsD

[pokekid]

dude relax. it's day one launch so of course things will be a little bumpy for a while.
why shouldn't devs be paid for their work if they took time to make our phones better and useful. if it is such a huge problem then stay modded at 1.1.4 and edge. power to you, many others including myself will enjoy the new model

[Skyfinity]

Poke...kid...Dude,

Sorry i came off so brash and angry, but I admitt that my post was exaggerated.
This was meant to represent the most critical view of the average customer, and thought the world might not fall apart due to this, Apple might. With something this big going even slightly wrong, Apple is placed in the limelight for critical analysis. I respectfully acknowledge your comment and agree, but this was meant to be a sort of tounge-in-cheek review.

[redcard]

Most people seem to be forgetting that it's the developers selling the apps, not apple. Every app would be free if the developers wanted them be

[Skyfinity]

Yes, Redcard, The apps are sold at the price designated by the developer. The only problem with that : the apps are being sold by Apple, and if they don't meet expectations, neither does the service. I wouldn't think that in a million years becuase i understand, and you understand how the system works. The average customer does not. There is always someone who has the most extreme ideas, which i was trying to simulate. Thank you for clearing that up though, and contributing to this thread.

[redcard]

The problem being the average customer does not have 'extreme ideas' and they'll think the app store is amazing, as long as there's plenty of apps on it

[Skyfinity]

Sorry man, I just tried to be a bit silly to ease the "I'm reading a boring newspaper" feel.
Thanks for contributing though.

[pokekid]

it's cool man. it is the devs who charge for the apps not apple

[Skyfinity]

YAY a positive comment! ^_^ The devs should get money for their efforts, but it is a shame to see quaint and simple apps attacked because people think they shouldn't pay for them. Its Apple that gets hurt, not the devs.

[pokekid]

true that flashlight app is bs. some stuff is definately not worth it but the app store does look like it will have some gems in it. I'll still mod