I made the changes <key>allowmmsediting... <key>overridecarrier.... (i changed the permissions of the carrier.plist to read read read but i'm not sure if that was necessary) then went to General->Reset->Reset Network Settings. iPhone restarted with all the changes made without losing MMS. Running 4.2.1. tried it on 4.3.3 and did not work, will keep trying for a different solution for 4.3.3. REMEMBER, BACK UP YOUR IPHONE BEFORE RESETTING ANYTHING JUST INCASE.