The best of SPAM

[Periodic]

So this thread is started because of an irc chat me and sernity and dale1v had in irc. We were talking about how we all know the nigerian prince lol. So open your spam folder and pick your pest one and post it, highlight the best parts.

Dear God's elect,

I am writing this mail to you with heavy tears In my eyes and great sorrow in my heart,My Name is Alice Conteh Gorona.and am contacting you from my country Tunisia I want to tell you this because i dont have any other option than to tell you as i was touched to open up to you,I am married to Mr Conteh Gorona who worked with Tunisia embassy in Burkina Faso for nine years before he died in the year 2005.We were married for eleven years without a child.He died after a brief illness that lasted for only five days.Since his death I decided not to remarry,When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$ 8.2m(Eight million two hundred thousand dollars)in a bank in Ouagadougou the capital city of Burkina Faso in west Africa Presently this money is still in bank.He made this money available for exportation of Gold from Burkina Faso mining.

Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the period of seven months due to cancer problem.The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness.Having known my condition I decided to hand you over this money to take care of the less-previlaged people, you will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.I want you to take 30 Percent of the total money for your personal use While 70% of the money will go to charity" people in the street and helping the orphanage.I grew up as an Orphan and i don't have anybody as my family member,just to endeavor that the house of God is maintained.

I'll find some better stuff don't you worry i deleted my folder this morning but i have already gotten 20 so this is what i've got for now, post yours

[blkcadi]

wow, you actually read spam? I never even see it. All filters on, adios spammage.

[Periodic]

wow, you actually read spam? I never even see it. All filters on, adios spammage.

Dude you have too read spam you miss out on millions of dollar fi you don't

[Broomhead]

^^^ Fail

[Grassmasta]

The only thing close to spam that I have ever read was the back of the can, whilst bored in a grocery store.

[Periodic]

The only thing close to spam that I have ever read was the back of the can, whilst bored in a grocery store.

I've got literally about 75 spam emails a day after i posted my email with my cydia theme. The worst part is this this kid sent me a voice memom of hm singing i've got a feeling

[StealthBravo]

^ lol. I just hit the delete button

[cpjr]

Ah man, Ive deleted soooo many of these....try owning your own business you get flooded with this crap.

Dont think I have any right now

[blkcadi]

but wait, I have your email addy, should fill up soon. muahaha

[cpjr]

^Oh well if its coming from you it has to be legit

[StealthBravo]

yea, I spend way too much time with spam and telemarketers on my office line and email

[cpjr]

I love the idiots who call your business line trying to sell you the SAME thing you do......

Come on people, if your going to insist on wasting my time at least do 2 seconds worth of homework....idiot.


PS- My dad owns a roofing company, had some other roofing company call him on his personal line one day and say "We've heard of some hail damage in your area which would probably qualify you for roof work covered by your insurance company....we'll come out for free and check your roof for you".

So, he was like "sure come on out" knowing full and damn well the roof was fine

The guy came out the next day and tried to tell dad about all the things wrong with his roof and gave him a $9000 estimate to fix it........dad laughed him off the property. The guy crapped himself when he found out my dad owns a roofing company.

He was like "Why did you call us out then?" My dad said "Cause you called lying to me about some hail damage BS, so how do you like it"

[StealthBravo]

I hate all the SEO calls

[Zeal]

I never get Spam...
Ever.

[GregTheWang]

I love the idiots who call your business line trying to sell you the SAME thing you do......

Come on people, if your going to insist on wasting my time at least do 2 seconds worth of homework....idiot.


PS- My dad owns a roofing company, had some other roofing company call him on his personal line one day and say "We've heard of some hail damage in your area which would probably qualify you for roof work covered by your insurance company....we'll come out for free and check your roof for you".

So, he was like "sure come on out" knowing full and damn well the roof was fine

The guy came out the next day and tried to tell dad about all the things wrong with his roof and gave him a $9000 estimate to fix it........dad laughed him off the property. The guy crapped himself when he found out my dad owns a roofing company.

He was like "Why did you call us out then?" My dad said "Cause you called lying to me about some hail damage BS, so how do you like it"

I LOVE that... I know it's not a perfect analogy but i was just reminded of my friend who once got fillings in even though there was nothing wrong with his teeth. Bastard dentist huh

[bteamer]

I never get Spam...
Ever.

Correct. You send it. Spammers look out for their own

[Zeal]

Correct. You send it. Spammers look out for their own

That makes no sense ....

[StealthBravo]

or does it make perfect sense?

[Zeal]

or does it make perfect sense?

nNOBODY ASKED YOU INFEDEL!