Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"'
No? not that funny? How about this...
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
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In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
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On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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At a Proctologist's door:
'To expedite your visit please back in.'
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On a Plumber's truck:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'
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On another Plumber's truck:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..'
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On a Church's Billboard:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
'Invite us to your next blowout.'
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At a Towing company:
'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'
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On an Electrician's truck:
'Let us remove your shorts.'
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
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On a Maternity Room door:
'Push. Push. Push.'
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At an Optometrist's Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
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On a Taxidermist's window:
'We really know our stuff.'
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On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
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At a Car Dealership:
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
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At the Electric Company
'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.'
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In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'
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At a Propane Filling Station:
'Thank heaven for little grills.'
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And don't forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
'Best place in town to take a leak.
11-29-2007, 06:54 PM
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